Two Essays

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Two Essays

Post  Leon Marzon95 on Mon Jan 05, 2009 10:08 pm

This is an essay which I finished, well...before or after January 1st, I'm not sure, but it was my essay for BC High, one of the private high schools I'm applying to and I know I finished it yesterday because I had like 30 seconds left before the calendar said January 1st, 2009 which I would then be late in turning in my application.
It's a really recent piece of work and I got help on correcting it with my tutor and it's not raw, as in I didn't just type it out, but I don't really have that many transitional words or diction, but I did take out my run on sentences and things like that.
This essay is about how my experiences in Bangladesh had changed me.
Hope you guys like it! ^_^(I typed it from the heart, give me a break! Lol)
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It is not a common or easy thing for one to go overseas and to experience poverty after coming from such a luxurious place like the United States. I had that uncommon experience when I went to Bangladesh for the second time at the age of ten which I believe changed me. What changed about me was how grateful I was and how much I cared for others.

When I went to Bangladesh, I had seen a lot of poverty and was really grateful for what I had because many of us here in the United States and many other places which have all the resources they need are not grateful enough for what we have compared to others like places in Bangladesh. Over in Bangladesh, there were people that didn't have family to care for them, friends to hang out with, food to fill their stomachs and keep on living, shelter to get comfortable and protect themselves, money, or even limbs! It makes me sad that they don't have any of these things and I like many others have all these things. I have a really big family that cares about me and is spread out in the world because of several siblings immigrating to different countries and having families there and they are all really happy. I have friends that are there for me when I need them and know they care for me unlike those in Bangladesh who have to live on their own unfortunately. One of the biggest problems in Bangladesh is people cannot receive food, but I get to have a full stomach every day three times a day while many back home starve to death or resort to stealing. Everyday, I'm in a cozy bed that lets me sleep well and have a roof and walls to protect me from bad weather, but those overseas don't have the luxury I have and have to sleep on dirt and deal with unbearable weather. Although my family may not be the wealthiest, we have enough money to get by. A sad and traumatic thing for me was that there were many people who didn't have arms or legs or even eyes because of poor medical care and I'm very grateful that I have a body that doesn't have any disabilities and that I'm capable of doing everything that needs doing. There was a time when I had a blind man who didn't have any eyes in his eye sockets approached me, but it had scared me at the time and thinking back now, I'm wishing I had done something to help the poor old man. After I had came back from Bangladesh, I started to work much harder than before because I was grateful for things like education and sports and was happier than usual with things like my family and friends. Eventually, I realized my friends were faltering and they cared little about things like education and they didn't see how important and fortunate they were to have the many things they have. I saw this and have been trying to help them and teach them about how important education is and to get back on their feet while they can and although I haven't gotten it through their head completely, I'm happy that it's starting to get there as I've had some that have changed their minds. I still have plenty of friends that deeply care for education and I am grateful that they realize how fortunate they are and are living their life to the fullest.

Secondly, my experiences in Bangladesh has changed how much I care for others. While I was there, there were many elderly that I cared for and I understood that they weren't going to be in this world the next time I would come back. One of my grandfathers that I deeply cared for passed away. Although I don't want to believe it, it is almost time for my paternal grandmother to be leaving this world unfortunately. My parents believe that she's still in this world for us to go see here before she has to go and that God healed my mother to do just that. I had learned to care more for everyone as everyone in the village had come to love me and I returned that love back to them. I would do work for them, do errands for them, and buy them little gifts with the money I could find here and there. At first, I thought it was just a fake respect/love thing because my dad was supposedly high and mighty because he sent money to support everyone, but then I discovered others cared for me too. Although I was foolish, my parents cared a lot for me also making sure I didn't get lost or have anything happen to me because Bangladesh isn't the safest of places either. At the end of my stay in Bangladesh I realized how much I cared and loved for everyone, but also how everyone loved and cared for me. I ended up crying because I was sad that I had to leave everyone. I wanted everyone to come back to me and also because I saw my mother weeping which always makes me sad. In no way was it a happy sort of sadness even though I really wanted to go back home. At the Airport, our family and the people that came with us wept one more time with a sad goodbye. When we had gotten home, I started to care more for the feelings of others and care more for my family and friends. As my friends noticed this, many of them started to come to talk to me and vent or tell me their problems and I was luckily able to help them out with certain things and more importantly, listen. I can also say I cared for the education of my friends when I stepped forward to attempt to help them get steered in the right direction in life. After all, it is our duty to help those less fortunate.

My trip to Bangladesh led to a more ultimate alteration of myself and this caused me to become a much more mature person. After learning more about the world and its inhabitants, I've become more knowledgeable and understanding. I've been better able to choose the right decision over the wrong decision as I proceed through life.


Last edited by Leon Marzon95 on Mon Jan 05, 2009 10:12 pm; edited 1 time in total

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Re: Two Essays

Post  Leon Marzon95 on Mon Jan 05, 2009 10:08 pm

Here's my next essay which is a short answer essay to a question that I of course need to answer, lol, it was a question also for BC High, one of the private high schools I am enrolling into and hopefully, will be accepted.
This material that I typed up is not unedited, I edited it yesterday(Dec 31st, before New Years)and with my tutor's help also, hopefully it is much better now because I had unnecessary things on it, run on sentences like usual, and grammar problems because I mostly just wrote out from my head(and heart of course!)I had to take some parts out because my tutor said the schools would assume wrongly about what I say. -_-
This essay is about my mother and how she had inspired me.
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Here's the question:
Who has been a support and inspiration in your life? Tell us how that person has influenced you.

The greatest support and inspiration in my life would be my wonderful mother. The main reason she has been an inspiration is because of her kidney failure.

The reason why her kidney failure was an inspiration was because for years, she had dealt with medicine and surgery and that led to her staying alive. The problem was that she was extremely weak, she couldn't always think clearly, and she was on a tight schedule to take medicine and dialysis so she didn't get to have a lot of fun with her friends. This showed me how much she dealt with, how much she had persevered to live on and continue to support my family and I. After seeing this, I wanted to persevere and be strong for her and to be there for her. I wanted to excel at school and sports, I wanted her to be proud of me and I wanted to be strong person just like her. She was also a very religious person and had a lot of faith in God that he would heal her. After weeping to God for help, she believes that is when the light started shining down on her.

Her influence eventually led me to wanting to get a better education, that of a higher level, I wanted to excel even more, and I can't stop yet because she hadn't stopped for several years, so I cannot falter. I started having more faith than usual, believing in God a lot more and also praying more often for my mother. After all that, the tears, the sadness, the happiness, the choices, and the stress, I am here now, with an extremely content mother living life to her fullest wishing her son to get into an amazing school called Boston College High School.

Concluding all this, my biggest inspiration in my life would be my amazing mother who had withstood so much pain to stay in this world, to continue supporting my family and I and most of all, being there for us.
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Thanks to everybody that read my stuff! ^_^
(Just want you all to know that although my mom is awesome, I don't really believe I have an 'inspiration', I don't think I've really looked up to anyone like THAT, but my mom is still awesome and wonderful and her as an inspiration would still be a great seeing as I don't have many. =P)
Everyone please read and give me feedback on a rating of 1-10 or something, thanks again!

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Re: Two Essays

Post  Joey125 on Fri Jan 30, 2009 3:18 pm

I would read but....they are just massive. I might read them when I have time.
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Re: Two Essays

Post  Dominic on Wed Feb 18, 2009 6:21 pm

wow. just.... wow 20/10 dude 20 out a 10 cheers cheers cheers cheers cheers you are the king of essays

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Re: Two Essays

Post  Joey125 on Thu Feb 19, 2009 12:44 am

Good. Good. Time to vote!!
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Re: Two Essays

Post  Dominic on Sat Sep 19, 2009 7:47 pm

*plays the song they use for the voting scene on Survivor"

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